chapter 1

Everybody lies.

You, me, they, he, she, it, everybody lies. You may not realise it but as long as your response to a question, be it verbally or non-verbally, carries an intent to decieve someone, it is a lie.

There is a shocking reason to why people lie: They lie because of their intent to lie to themselves. Unbelievable? Think again. People love to hear something that they like. So, in order to please themselves, they lie. You know what I'm is right because that is what's in your mind when you lie. You want things to go your way and therefore, you lie. So that you will be able to believe that so-called "truth" that you want to believe in. So, in a way, lying = self-deception. I will go more into that later as I explain what people lie for.

There are plenty of examples written in the book on the paradoxes of lying. For example, a mother tells her son, John, not to lie about the fact that he broke the priceless Ming vase while playing and yet the moment the pastor called to ask for donation, the mother tells John to tell the pastor that she isn't in just to avoid the pastor because she doesn't want to give donations for the new church steeple. This proves the point of however how much we try to enforce the point that lying is bad, people in the end still practice lying be it verbally or non-verbally.

Chapter 1 of "LIES! LIES! LIES! Psychology of Deceit" also talks about the different kinds of lies told by different people for different reasons. People lie for sexual gratifications, acceptance, etc..etc.. If I elaborate more on that, I may get sued for plagarising Dr. Ford's book. To summarise this whole chapter, I shall quote the summary of Chapter 1 directly from the book:

"Lying and self-deception permeate all aspects of human life and social interactions. Societal messages about deceit are often contradictory; we teach our children how to lie effectively and encourage others to lie to us even as we condemn lying as a vice. The developement of acomprehensive psychology of deceit must consider these paradoxes in addition to the biological, intrapsychic and societal influences on the process of human deception."