Goodbyeeee......

All good things have to come to an end. And this is no different.

I have decided to stop blogging altogether for various reasons. Amongst other things, someone gave me a very nice notebook and by no stroke of luck I came upon a community that encourages journaling the pen-and-paper way. Seeing how people turn their own journal into a piece of art makes me want to do the same thing with mine and I can't wait to write my-story into a book that records my past, for the good of my future. Also, I realised that drawing little stick figures doing magic sleights is kinda fun too. So, I'll be doing a lot of that too. Okay, fine. That someone is me. So, what? Ish...

Also, blogging becomes tedious and boring when you don't know how to really express yourself through tappings of little keys on the keyboard. I don't know how well I express myself here on this blog, but I hope it's well enough that you can actually understand all the drivel that I've been writing since 2004. Yeap, it's been THAT long ago and I'm very proud that you actually stuck around. I'm glad you did and I'm lubbing you for that. (You people know who you are :) )

With a little black book(or pink or whatever), I can make it look which ever way I want without having to learn ridiculous coding to implement them to make it look some-what close to what I want. I'm such a pretentious little runt. Heh.

Still, thanks for kicking around and from time to time, I may post scans of my little black book just for the heck of it. Who knows? I might blog with the scans of my little black book?


"Good luck, gentlemen."

why so serious?

Everytime I watch this trailer and hear that laugh, I know I can't wait. Can you?

Rowan Atkinson, the genius

"Ice Ice BABY"

Holy Shoot!

This post has been removed and deleted by me for the unjust, unfair and definitely immature comments that I have made to the organisers of the event, which is the Magic Annexe, regarding the Shoot Ogawa lecture as well as the SOAR Magic Show, held on the 9th of March 2008 at the PanGlobal Building, Petaling Jaya.

My sincerest apologies to everyone involved.


- King Chai -

How to not kill yourself(and others) while driving

Welcome to the first installment of the possibly infinite number of installments of "How to not kill yourself(and others) while driving"-series. This series was inspired by the numerous times I nearly got my car shoved off the road by blithering idiots or cupcakes who change lanes or merge lanes without taking the necessary steps required to ensure the preservation of lives, be it the driver's or anyone else's, on the road.

For those of you who stay in Kluang, I'm pretty sure you're familiar with how difficult it is to change lanes on Jalan Batu Pahat, especially during peak hours, to get from the Mengkibol/Taman Intan side to my school, which is Sekolah Tinggi Kluang/Taman Lian Seng area or vice versa. Even if you're not familiar with that area, I'm sure those of you who stay in Kluang would've been through that place at least once in your life.

Usually, what would happen is that crazy drivers would change lanes without looking at their side view mirrors to see if there are any cars coming their way.

So, I can't think of any better examples than to use Jalan Batu Pahat as our first installment of "How to not kill yourself(and others) while driving)-series!


From the picture above, you can see that I've labeled all the roads accordingly and circled 3 areas where accidents are most likely to happen as well as outlined 2 routes which new drivers will usually face problems while navigating through them. This 'guide' is not for the experienced drivers because if you're experienced, you would already possess the common sense required to get through this area without trying to kill someone else.

Althought I made the mistake of not labelling the 4 lanes, we shall now label them as Lane A, Lane B, Lane C and Lane D from the left most lane to the one on the far right.

As you can see(if not, click on the picture to look at the bigger picture), the 2 routes that I have highlighted in red and green are for getting from STK/Taman Lian Seng to Mengkibol/Taman Intan and vice versa.

Let's look at the red route first, for example. 2 common areas where drivers are most likely to get biff-ed are labeled 1 and 2. In area no. 1, drivers always stop dead at the line while waiting for all the cars in Lane B to pass before coming off the bend and follow through Lane A. That is NOT a good idea, especially during rush hour because all the cars coming from Jalan Sekolah will be stuck from bumper to bumper waiting for one numb-nut to get off the line and merge from Lane A to Lane B. You should never stop dead on Lane A just to wait for the opportunity to cut into Lane B because if you do that, chances of you getting rammed from the cars behind you is pretty high because since you're already on Lane A, all the other drivers are going to assume that you will be going straight rather than to stop dead in your tracks in Lane A.

What you should do is to follow through the bend and go unto Lane A. You don't have to drive fast on Lane A as long as you keep moving. While you're on Lane A, keep an eye on the cars moving along Lane B and when the opportunity comes, then only should you cut into Lane B.

In area no. 2, new drivers rarely look in front of them as they change their lanes from Lane C to Lane D to get to the Mengkibol/Taman Intan area. The drivers will then either a) crash into the car in front of them or b) drive right onto the road divider. I know it sounds ridiculous but trust me, I've seen that before.

If you look at the green route, which is to get from the Mengkibol/Taman Intan area to STK/Taman Lian Seng area, the only problematic area as I see is area no. 3. Certain drivers always think that Lane D belongs to them as they change lanes from Lane D to Lane C. What they will do is that they will stop DEAD on Lane D and then cause the rest of the cars behind them to stop as well and everyone will be stuck from bumper to bumper. So, it's always people like these that will cause jams/accidents.

What can we learn from this?

STOP DRIVING LIKE IDIOTS!

Think you wanna learn magic?

Okay, so many of you on this blog have bugged me at least once in your life on how I do all my stuff and where can you learn them. Well, this is your chance! If you want to learn magic, you have to learn it from the best and the best is coming to Malaysia!

Shoot Ogawa, a fantastic magician from Japan will be strutting his stuff here by hosting a lecture and magic show for the very first time in Malaysia! By 'fantastic', I mean really really fantastic and awesome. More awesome than cherry pie topped with cream. Or the other way around. He also won the 2003 Close-Up Magician of the Year in Japan and to give you an idea of how good this guy is, watch the following videos:







As you can see, he isn't your regular "jack of all trades, master of none"-kind of magician like yours sincerely but rather he's a very well-rounded magician who performs magic with the sort of finesse and style like no other.

So, if you're really interested in learning magic, I would really suggest you to come with me to this magic lecture on the 8th of March 2008. It's going to cost you RM150, excluding transportation and food for the trip. It's going to be a one-day trip so, it's not going to be that expensive. The reason why it cost so much is because the lecture alone would cost RM100 and the magic show at the end would cost RM60 and if we get the combo package, we'll 'only' have to pay RM150. Compare to the other lectures hosted by this guy abroad in other countries, this is considered to be VERY VERY cheap already.

Here's the flier that I downloaded from the organiser's website:



So, if you think you can make it, leave a message here or email me so that we can come up with some sort of travel plan.

Think about it. :)

I have a cunning plan.

Well, it's that time of the year again, where students all over Malaysia who are waiting for their results, bust their heads and rack their brains to figure what are the steps that they should take for the sake of their futures.

Well, I have a cunning plan. A plan that's more cunning that a cunning fox, mated from 2 of the most cunning species of animals in a cunning animal kingdom, born and bred in Cunningham, the most cunning place in this cunning world. Yes, it's that cunning.

Some of you have heard of my cunning plan and just because you know about it, doesn't mean you have to tell the whole world about it. Just give it time and let things fall into place by itself. Don't ruin the fun for others or rather for me, because cunning plans are the funniest. Because they have the double 'n' in the middle, like a tiddle in the piddle.

Anyway, that means my role as the Project Manager of Thinking Bulb Productions (fancy name and title, eh?) is coming to and end and I'll be free to talk a little bit regarding my experiences as well as some of the things that has happened along the way(Eh... lai jiang xing shi leh...). And also, some pictures!

Stay tune and no, this blog is not dead, like Ted!

Go Team Hoyt!

I was going around the forums the other day and came across a thread about some of the most badass people in history. So, naturally The INTERNETS would post about people awarded with various medals and decorations throughout the two great wars as well as other wars. Then someone posted a short clip of Team Hoyt, which consists of a father (Dick Hoyt) and a son (Rick Hoyt), who takes part in 6 different Ironman Triathlon.

For those who are not in the know, the Ironman Triathlon is one of the most difficult and physically demanding competition due to the gruelling length and race conditions. Participants have to compete by kicking off in the US city of Kailua-Kona, Hawaii, and the race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim in Kailua-Kona Bay, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride across the Hawaiian lava desert to Hawi and back), and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island (from Keauhou to Keahole Point to Kailua-Kona); finishing on Ali'i Drive.

You're probably wondering what's so special about a father-son team taking part in a triathlon, which is an individual event?

Rick Hoyt, the son, was disabled at birth by a loss of oxygen to his brain because his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck, and he also suffers from cerebral palsy. Doctors advised that Rick would spend his whole life in a persistent vegetative state. However, his parents never heeded their advice and went on to have a special chair built for Rick and the brilliant minds of Tufts University discovered that Rick, at the age of 12, have a sense of humour, which indicated intelligence. So, now Rick could communicate through the special computer by moving his head.

So, what does that have anything to do with the Ironman Triathlon? Well, the father, Dick, love his son so much that together they have participated in 942 events, including 216 Triathlons (6 of which were Ironman competitions), 20 Duathlons, and 65 Marathons, including 25 consecutive Boston Marathons. They also biked and ran across the USA in 1992 — a 3,735 mile journey that took them 45 days. I would like to also point out that in all of these races, the father was either pushing the son, who's in a special chair when he's running or putting him on a boat and swam across the water tugging the boat along.

They know that they are probably hours behind everyone else but to have a father carry his son through marathons upon marathons and triathlons is simply amazing and inspirational.

I don't think I've written well enough to justify what this man has done for his son; so, I'll leave you with this video of Team Hoyt in the Ironman Triathlon:



Also, one thing that's really touching is when Rich was asked what is the one thing he wished he could give his father, his reply was "The thing I'd most like is that my dad would sit in the chair and I would push him once."

Simply amazing.

And to think that God's love could be so much more.

Go Team Hoyt!

Eh... kawan... berapa?

Part of our usual travel plans on Thursdays when we have to go to Ipoh by bus is to take a taxi from KL Sentral to Puduraya in morning before catching a bus to Ipoh. I know... RM7.00 isn't exactly the cheapest way to travel around KL but when you're lugging equipments along with you while you're feeling all groggy from the shakey train ride, I think the price sorta justifies itself.

Anyway, the same way when we come back from Ipoh at night, we would take a taxi from Puduraya back to KL Sentral. So, this is how the conversation went:

"Taxi... taxi.... taxi..."
"Sini ke KL Sentral berapa?"
"20, dik..."

*turns over to Cheng Yee*

"&$!@#$!%$#^!#$%^!#%&"

I guess both of us look way too tourist-y. Maybe I should start toting a cigarette and a shaved bald head with full sleeves of tattoos. Then I'll probably be offered free rides around KL. By the cops.

Umm... yeah.

xoxoxoxoxo

(x are the kisses and o's are the hugs)

tales of horror from ipoh...

...and some other things in KL.

Like I've said before, traveling around all the time isn't exactly the best thing in the world because it is tiring and you're killing the environment along the way. Anyway, I'm really glad that I had the chance to go up to Ipoh to meet some of the nicest people that I've ever met and have the awesome and deservedly famous 'Taugeh Chicken'.

Anyway, you're probably wondering why did I title this as 'Tales of horror from Ipoh...' It's not so much because of the people or anything but rather the horror is from the public toilet at Medan Gopeng. I will spare you the gory and rather unsettling details but all I have to say is that one should be wary of all public toilets; especially the toilet bowls in the cubicles. Not all of them flush the way it should; ie downwards into the hole. What happened to me in Ipoh is that instead of the toilet bowl flushing the gunk down, EVERYTHING SHOOTS STRAIGHT OUT OF THE BLIMEY COW-RIPPING BOWL!

Thank God as I was fastening the zip on my pants, something or rather someone urged me to not stand in front of the bowl when I flush the bowl. And somehow my usually stubborn head decided to heed the advice and I stood a bit to the side when I pull the lever. The moment I pulled the lever, EVERYTHING SHOOTS OUT OF THE DAMN BOWL INTO THE DOOR IN FRONT OF IT. Good Lord, that was close.

If you want to know about the unsettling details, feel free to ask me about it.

Anyway, at the end of the day, the eyelids on our eyes are as heavy as a couple of 2-tonne trucks and naturally Cheng Yee and I crashed out at my auntie's place in KL. So, after a long and peaceful sleep, I woke up and I remembered that I have to iron my clothes before going to Brickfields to do some recording. So, I went to the back and saw Cheng Yee ironing his clothes and I thought, "Oh well... I'll wait for him to finish."

So, after Cheng Yee's turn, I had mine and I started to iron my shirt and pants. After struggling with it for HALF AN HOUR wondering why wouldn't the iron press out the creases then it hit me. I DID NOT TURN THE IRON ON.

*sigh*

Yes, I do know how to iron my own clothes.

I guess it's just one of those things that happen during one of those days. I have a feeling that this trip will be a lot more interesting than I thought.

some updates

I can't believe I'm making one of 'these' posts now because frankly, these don't contain much information other than to let you readers know that I'm still alive and kicking around.

Currently I'm 'working' in KL with some of the nicest people I've ever met in my life and life's been a roller coaster ride. Just a little bit different because every trip is like getting on a different roller coaster ride without knowing which turn is coming on next or when the seatbelt is going to untie itself and drop you 200ft into the ground below. Hmm... that's morbid. Let's do it again.

Uhm... I'll be 'working' in KL every weekend for the next 3 months, on this awesome project with some of the nicest people I've ever met in my life and this has been a wonderful learning experience for me. Aside from learning the difference between a bread and 'mexican bun', I think the trip's been really wild and crazy for Cheng Yee and I. You'll never know what's going to happen tomorrow and we should always take things one step at a time.

Of course, that is not to say that you shouldn't plan into the future but rather keep in mind that however good your plan is, it will still boil down to that very day when you're going to have to take that drastic step of action. Some say believe in yourself and take it like a man in faith but I say, having people close to you to listen to you and get you through day by day really helps.

Maybe this will prepare me for other things in life or even life in big cities when I have to go off for my tertiary studies. Well, it's pretty much inevitable and it's time to learn to live away from home. Ahh... now I know how awesome my bed and pillow is back at home. Minus the blanket. Yeah, I hate the blanket cause it's tickles me at night.

Hmm... I'm rambling again.

S'all!

no. 1 on my birthday wish list

I know my birthday is still a long time away (23rd March, woo) but I think I have found the 'holy grail' of magic apparatus, in my opinion that is.

As a magician, I always have this problem where my pockets, on my jacket and pants, bulge very obviously due to the number of decks that I carry on me as well as all the props(like coins, wands, elephants and rabbits) that I need to perform magic. So, to solve this 'common' problem that's faced by thousands of working magicians out there, a company called 'High Caliber Magic' built a HOLSTER based on a real-life shoulder holster for guns that are used by law enforcement officers around the world.

Maybe the .gif below will give you a basic idea of what I'm talking about:

As you can see, it looks mighty awesome and best part is, it's not going to affect how the jacket and pants look, eventhough the magician is packed with enough materials to start a cult. It can basically fit 2 decks of cards, a roll of coins, marker pen, extra props, elephants and rabbits.

I'm not selling this product very well but if you want more information, you can go to the website here: http://www.highcalibermagic.com/original.html

However, these things cost a bomb. The Original High Caliber Holster, which is the full rig that you see above costs USD$300. :o

For those of us, who can't afford the full rig, they also sell smaller holsters called the Ricochet(USD$175) and Derringer(USD$80). It's still very expensive but it still looks pretty darn kickass to carry around. To give you an idea of how they look:

The Ricochet.

The Derringer.

Incredibly expensive, it is. Ah well, a boy can dream, can't he?

time to kickass

Some of you can be a real donkey-stick about other people's illness. I blogged about it because I thought it is my responsibility to let my friends know about it and take good care of themselves. That doesn't mean it's funny to make crude jokes and witty smart-ass comments about my family.

Do them one more time in front of me and I'll open up a can of whoop-ass and make a sandwich out of you.




(Note: I wasn't talking about you, Jean.)

damn scabies

Okay guys, I know this will raise a few alarms and tickle some fancies but I have scabies. For the past couple of weeks I have been having some terrible itching all over my body and it's been getting progressively worse from day to day. So, I went to see a dermatologist today and he told me that I've got scabies. Chances are, I caught it from Hotel Telang Usan from my recent Sarawak trip.

Here are some quotes from Wikipedia.com regarding Scabies:

"Scabies is a transmissible ectoparasite skin infection characterized by superficial burrows, intense pruritus (itching) and secondary infection. The word scabies comes from the Latin word for "scratch" (scabere)."

"Scabies is transmitted readily, often throughout an entire household, by skin-to-skin contact with an infected person (e.g. bed partners, schoolmates, daycare), and thus is sometimes classed as a sexually transmitted disease. Spread by clothing, bedding, or towels is a less significant risk, though possible."

"The symptoms are caused by an allergic reaction that the body develops over time to the mites and their by-products under the skin, thus the 4-6 week "incubation" period. There are usually relatively few mites on a normal, healthy person — about 11 females in burrows. Scabies are microscopic although sometimes they are visible as a pinpoint of white. The females burrow into the skin and lay eggs there. Males roam on top of the skin, however, they can and do occasionally burrow. Both males and females surface at times, especially at night. They can be washed or scratched off (however scratching should be done with a washcloth to avoid cutting the skin as this can lead to infection), which, although not a cure, helps to keep the total population low. Also, humans create antibodies to the scabies mites which do kill some of them."

"Preventing reinfection

All family and close contacts should be treated at the same time, even if asymptomatic. Cleaning of environment should occur simultaneously, as there is a risk of reinfection. Without a host, scabies mites can on average survive up to 48-72 hours away from human skin. [5] (In cases of Crusted Scabies, mites can survive up to 7 days.) Therefore it is recommended to wash all material (such as clothes, bedding, and towels) that has been in contact with all infested persons in the last three days.

Cleaning the environment should include:

• Vacuuming floors, carpets, and rugs.
• Disinfecting floor and bathroom surfaces by mopping.
• Daily washing of recently worn clothes, towels and bedding in hot water and drying in a hot dryer.
• Hot drying pillows for 30 minutes.
• Overnight freezing, in a plastic bag: stuffed animals, brushes, combs, shoes, coats, gloves, hats, robes, wetsuits, etc.
• Quarantine in a plastic bag for two weeks: things that cannot be washed, hot dried, frozen or drycleaned.
• Drycleaning: things that cannot be washed, hot dried or frozen or quarantined."

The shitty thing about scabies is this: it has an incubation period of 4-6 weeks before the symptoms show and the problem with that is anyone who comes in contact with my personal clothings and belongings have a tiny bit of possibility of being infected with scabies. I'm fairly sure that I haven't been sleeping around with anyone so, that shouldn't be a problem. Even more crappy than this is that my whole family is infected thanks to me. So... yeah.

The doctor told me to apply some sort of lotion all over my body at night before going to bed and tomorrow morning I'll have a grand time cleaning EVERYTHING in my house. From bedsheets and pillows to sofas and stuffed toys. Haih.

So, friends. Please keep an eye out for your own body because if you start feeling itching between the crevices on your body such as between your fingers, armpit, underneath your knees or pelvis and you seem to have those mosquito looking bites on your body that itches the lemons out of you, then please get it checked out and take preventive measures.

If you caught it from me, then I'm really sorry. Just let me know and I'll buy you a drink.

Aww... damn.

art of quick changing

I know this video is pretty old already but in case you have not seen it before, here's David and Dania doing a Quick Changing Act on America's Got Talent. Notice I didn't call it a trick because it's way more than a trick and it's an art by itself. This is so awesome:



Okay, that's it. I have to start putting up an ad saying:

ATTENTION!
MAGICIAN'S ASSISTANT WANTED.

Must be willing to:

1. Change into different clothes.
2. Wiggle hands and feet to the music.
3. Change into even more clothes.
4. Do all that within a few seconds.

All interested parties please call 1800-MAGIC-BOY ext. #3 to apply.

why read?

I'm been doing some thinking recently all the while reflecting on the different crisis happening around the world as well as in my own country, Malaysia.

Coming from a small town, life goes on quite slowly around here and naturally, we don't really feel the impact of the different events going on around the country. This can be both a good thing and/or a bad thing. The good thing is, people are not easily affected by the recent events around the country and have their thoughts swayed to any extreme ends of things. However, the unfortunate thing about this is that people can also be incredibly ignorant about how things are going on around the country.

It's amazing how people would argue with each other over some issue written in the local newspaper for argument's sake without knowing the truth behind things in the first place. There is an old saying in Chinese that reminds people to 'think with their brains before they speak'. So, how are you going to think about what you're going to say if you are ignorant about the true facts behind the different issues on hand? The obvious answer would be to get oneself enlightened about the truths behind these issues but WHERE can one find the answers?

The answer, my friend, is in reading. As what Uncle Kok Hwee has said recently, "Reading can open up a person's mind" and I agree with him 100% beyond reasonable doubt. Personally, I would suggest reading anything that you can get your hands on, barring love novels because those things drive me crazy. From independent news website to that huge old encyclopedia sitting at the bottom of the bookshelf. Just grab something and read.

I'm now on a 6 month break and very soon I'll be getting my hands on a couple of books from Uncle Kok Hwee to read during the break because frankly, I don't know everything and I hope I can increase not only my knowledge but also open up my mind to understand different ideas.

Hmm... this will be interesting.

infiltration of the goths

I was at Kluang Parade today with my brother and guess what I saw? For the first time in my life, I saw a Chinese dude dressed like a goth. Not just the emo hairstyle and/or glasses but complete with the black fingernails and everything. I would think that this guy a) Surfs MySpace way too much or b) Came from the planet Mars.

I don't know how common it is for guys to wear nail-polish considering I haven't been out for quite a while, but to see one in real life like that is kinda appalling. I mean, who am I to criticize what others are wearing, right? Still, you don't quite see things like that everyday. However, seeing how things are in Kluang, I bet that in a couple of months time, every 1 out of 5 'punk rockers' in Kluang would have black nail-polish.

Not a flattering thing to say but hey, it'll be something to talk about.

Oh dear, this is a terrible blog post. I should stop writing. Bleurrghh.

what am I to do?

So, what am I to do?
Lie low and get myself kicked in the nuts and take it like a man?
Not sure if you know, but I missed you just as much.
If only you knew what to look out for.

Kuching Trip

Hello everyone! Well, I came back from Kuching on the 14th but I have been so busy preparing the magic show for the CBC Christmas Celebration at the Public Library on the 16th. So, now that it's finally over, I can sit down and blog about pretty Kuching!

To be honest, I really didn't want to go for this trip because none of my friends are going and I was so close to rejecting the trip. Now that I'm back from it, I'm glad that I went because I learned so many things that I didn't know about Sarawak, especially about all the different ethnic groups in Sarawak.

Although the food and the accommodation was bad throughout the trip but all the places that we went to were awesome and very informative. At least I'm no longer as ignorant as I used to be about Sarawak! And now, unto the pics!


This is one of the many cat statues in Kuching. Interestingly, this statue, which is situated at the southern part of Kuching, called Kuching Selatan, have it's left paw risen rather than the right. Apparently, it's because there are many Chinese in the southern part of Kuching and Chinese businessmen who come into Kuching Selatan will be pleased to see this statue because to them, it's a symbol of wealth and signifies 'more money coming in'. I wish I can figure out the Mandarin han yu pin yin but my brains aren't really working now.

Here, you can see the administration building for Kuching Selatan. Yes, Kuching is divided into the northern and southern region because it's actually quite big. As I said earlier, Kuching Selatan is pretty much dominated by the Chinese and therefore, many structures around Kuching Selatan have lots of Chinese-influence.

Here you can see the old courtroom facing the 'waterfront' along Sarawak River. After it has been decommissioned, the state government decided to use it as a tourist information centre of some sort. I know, it's not even a week since I came back from Sarawak but hey, my brains haven't been working very well anyway. Rumour says that the place is haunted.

This is the Square Tower directly opposite the old courtroom building right by the Sarawak River. It used to be the holding place for criminals who did not commit serious offence. You know, cat-burglars, thieves, etc... Hardcore criminals such as rapists, murderes are sent to Fort Margarita instead, to be hanged. It's a pity that we didn't get to visit Fort Margarita due to the current construction of the new State Assembly building. According to Maggie, who is our AWESOME tour guide and 'mother', Fort Margarita is haunted and there are many ghost sightings and chilling experiences. Considering it's not only the holding place but also where the criminals are executed, I'm not surprised that it's haunted!

Interestingly, the British people used to hold dances at the top of Square Tower. I thought that was rather weird!

What you see here is probably Sarawak's most expensive wedding present. One of the White Rajah(Charles Brooke, I think) decided to build this building called the Astana for his wife as a wedding gift. What an awesome husband, eh, ladies?

Interestingly, eventhough it is now the official residence of the Governor, Rulers who visit the city would rather stay at the Merdeka Palace, which is a 5-star hotel, situated opposite Merdeka Park @ Central Park because of spelling of Astana is 'A' rather than 'Istana' because Rulers must stay in palaces.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Maggie. Our awesome tour guide throughout the trip. I tried my best to help her because she reminds me a lot of my mom and how can I see my mom working harder than me by carrying all those heavy vases that my teachers bought(oohhh... I'll get to that later!).

We also went to a particular fantastic museum. However, we're not allowed to take any pictures inside. So, I'll just show you this picture of a cannon if front of the museum.

This place is a memorial park for the fallen warriors of Sarawak, who fought for independence against the British. We didn't get to spend much time there though.

Call me cheeky all you want but I thought a 'lactating' statue was rather funny.

Next, we head to the Cat Museum, which is situated in Kuching Utara. Here you can see the administration building for Kuching Utara and the Cat Museum is situated right in this building as well.

Interestingly, this building have lots of Malay/Islamic art influences because most of the people in Kuching Utara are Malays.

You don't really need a sign here to know that this is the entrance to the Cat Museum.

Bunch of crystal cats.

And also a bunch of cat eyes. Of course, there are many pictures of cats such as these...


Here you can see all the 'money calling' cats that the Chinese so adores. With all the luck in the world, what can possibly go wrong? There are also many pictures like these...


I see lots of souvenirs and T-shirts printed with pictures of these 2 lovey-dovey cats.

Cat statues.

Here, we can see the beautiful Mount Santubong. If you look closely, you can see the resemblance of a lady's face. Even if you can't, it's still a beautiful mountain!

Legend has it that one has to descend from Mount Santubong before six or before the sun goes down. Apparently, when the sun goes down, a rainbow will be formed joining heaven and earth together and Lady Santubong will come down to bath. Don't ask me why she doesn't have a bathroom in heaven but anyway, that's besides the point. So, being a lady, she hates to have people to peep at her when she bathes. If you're still up in the mountain by the time the sun goes down, the Lady will trap you in the darkness till the next day before you're "allowed to leave". That was before the invention of flashlight and batteries, I suppose.

Interestingly, you have to report yourself to the police station before climbing the mountain so that in case you're not down by nightfall, a search and rescue team will come and look for you.

For lunch, we went to this 'authentic' Malay wooden house to have 'authentic' Malay food. we had to eat with our friends and that was pretty much the first time I had belacan with ulam and boy, it was good! I think that was the best meal I had throughout the whole trip.

Next, we went to the Cultural Village, which is DEFINITELY a tourist hotspot.

Here's why: The entrance fee for a single adult is RM60 and for a child is RM30. I know it's ridiculously priced but trust me, the trip is WORTH it, if you have good guides such as Maggie and Kak Lin.

Interestingly, the whole idea for Cultural Village came about when the government thought it would be a good idea to have all the different ethnic groups live together in a 'village' with all their authentic long houses and huts so that tourists didn't have to spend 4-5 hours trekking through the jungles and rain forests of Sarawak just to get to one long house.

Some say it may not be authentic because the villagers are paid to stay there but having a chance to visit the headhunters without having the top of your head chopped off is rather nice and it won't take 4-5 hours just to visit one ethnic group. Rather, in the time span of 4-5 hours, we managed to visit more than 6 different houses and groups!

We had our first taste by having to cross this Jambatan Buluh or Bamboo Bridge. It wasn't very high off the ground but actually, the ethnic groups build these bamboo bridges 40-50 feet up in the air to join 2 peaks together across a valley. It's amazing how these people thought of such things.

I would suppose living in the jungle all your life would thought you that.

The first house that we visit is Rumah Bidayuh, or the Bidayuh house. This particular structure that you see us entering is actually called a Barok(sp?), that functions as a watchtower or fort to protect it's houses from enemy attack. That's why it has small windows or openings around the tower so that it can see the enemy from all the different direction.

Interestingly, women are not allowed into the Barok except to bring food in or to relay an important message. That means, the men are the COOK during certain festivals in the Barok. Even more interestingly...

It is also where they hang the heads of their fallen enemies. According to Kak Lin, the more heads of you have, the braver you are and the less likely you're going to have your house attacked by the enemies. I like to think that those skulls are real but I'm not sure if they are and no, I refuse to touch them to see if they are real.

At the bottom of the skulls, you can see this fire pit. The fire is there not only to keep the warriors warm but also to smoke the skulls. The masks that you see around the pit are so-called 'guardians' who give them 'semangat' before they go out to battle. The warriors would touch them before leaving to have 'luck' and also to bless them in the battle.

This interesting apparatus that you see Kak Lin use here is actually a sugar cane juicer. Apparently, these people LOVE their sugar cane juice and they would use this to juice the canes.

A Bidayuh lady showing us how she sifted through the paddy and the cylindrical thing beside her is a grinder of some sort that requires 4 people to operate.

According to Kak Lin, you need 4 things before you can get married: 1. heads or skulls of fallen enemies 2. gong 3. China pots/vase 4. I really can't remember.

Next up, the famous Iban longhouse!

I was standing in the middle of the long house and here, you can see an idea of how long the long house is. There is a home-stay programme that you can apply for to stay for a night with the Iban people.

Here we are, at the Penan Hut. Penan people are nomads and they don't have a fixed place of residence. So, each family will travel on their own and build their own huts. Here, you can see the large apparatus that they use to make 'sumpit' or blowpipes. Each one takes roughly six months to make the Penan people pride themselves in the making of these beautiful sumpit.

Here's a picture of the hut with Kak Lin explaining to us about the making of these blowpipes. Here you can see a smarmy Penan dude chilling in his 'pants'.

Look at that smarmy face!

Further up, we came to the Ulu Longhouse. The Ulu people is actually a bunch of different smaller ethnic groups, who decided to consolidate and move up the mountains. Behind this awesome Ulu dude playing a Sapit, which is a beautiful instrument, is a huge painting of the longhouse's Tree of Life.

Interestingly, each longhouse have its own Tree of Life and each one may have a different drawing of motifs. Each Tree of Life depicts life at all the different longhouses and each one will give interesting information about the residents of that particular longhouse. For eg, how many warriors, women, children, lazy people, free loaders, etc..

Even more interestingly is actually the Sapit. Legend has it that a particular warrior's wife fell sick and nothing could cure her. The warrior was begging to his guardians for a cure and the guardian gave him a vision to carve an instrument out of wood and the Sapit was born. Apparently, after playing the instrument to his wife, his wife got well and it was the love and care that the warrior put into playing the instrument that cured her. Interesting love story and the music that one can make is so beautiful! I wish I can find a CD or recording of the instrument.

The same Ulu dude carving something out of wood.

The Ulu people are head hunters too.

This is a picture of an Ulu longhouse, if I'm not mistaken. I really can't remember which because I carelessly forgot to take a picture of the signboard.

Here, I'm posing with an Ulu blacksmith. Apparently, the Ulu people were among the first ethnic groups who discovered metal and harnessed it to make things. And that makes them some of the most skilled blacksmiths around and this man here make beautiful swords.

Rumah Melanau.

Rumah Melayu.

After all the tours around the different longhouses and huts, we were treated to a fantastic cultural performance at the end of the day. I used to think traditional ethnic dances were boring but it's actually really good!

After the visit to the Cultural Village, we went to visit a very famous layer cake factory. The layer cakes or 'Kek Lapis' produced here are well-known around Kuching because of it's many variety of flavours and everything in this place are produced by hand and not factory made. It's also reasonably priced too. Some of the interesting flavours are chocolate-cheese, blueberry, blueberry mint, cheese, masam-manis, etc...

If you're reading this, Maggie, I want to say THANKS again. You know exactly what I mean ;)

Girl making Kek Lapis layer by layer. Each layer takes about 3 mins to 'bake' in the oven(green thing behind) before the next layer can be applied.

One really interesting thing about this place is that we can try all the Kek Lapis that we want before buying. That's how confident they are in their own product. It was really really good and being one who loves Kek Lapis, I ABSOLUTELY enjoyed all the different flavours.

Unfortunately, wherever there is free food given, the ugly side of human nature would come out inevitably. I have never seen any group of people so 'desperate' in wanting to eat and these selfish people would shove their way through without a care in the world, caring only their stomach. And if they find any flavours that they like, they would take the WHOLE LOT OF IT and eat it among themselves leaving none to be had by others. I elbowed one guy in the guts because he was trying to shove himself past a FILLED corridor.

Scouts, teachers, everyone are just as bad. It was ugly. Once everything was cleaned out, some of us had to go to the back where the kitchen is to have a chance to taste some of the better flavours and the moment these hungry muffins knew about the existence of this Kek Lapis haven, they would 'zerg rush' the kitchen and swipe all the cake. The ladies in the kitchen took out so many of cake to be cut.

Thankfully after a while, these hungry muffins had their fill and would slowly thin away to rest their stomach at the living room(it was a very home-y place). Good riddance.

Here, you can see a kick-ass middle-aged lady making Kek Lapis. If you look closely into the oven behind her, you can see the little blue dots in the oven are actually fire! She would gingerly stick her hand in and out of it skillfully to bake the cake.

That was pretty much the last place we go to before going back to the hotel.

The next morning, we went to Semenggoh to visit orang utans! It was actually a botanical garden cum orang utan rehab centre.

Rumours say that the orang utans here are caught from the jungle, blah blah blah but that's actually a load of fart, according to the owner of the place. Truth is, the orang utans here are actually those that are smuggled in or 'rescued' from pet owners who own them illegally. They are sent here for rehab before being released into the wild. Unfortunately, chances of them leaving the rehab centre is pretty small.

Here is yours faithfully in front of one of the orang utan feeding area as proof that I didn't rip these pictures from other people :S

Orang utans are lovely animals. They are smart, naughty and boy, do they love to pose when they feel like it! However, they are also shy animals. If they don't feel like posing or do anything, they will just point their butt at you and you won't be able to take a single picture.

Here is an example of an orang utan's nest. It's made of branches and leaves. The orang utans would build themselves a different nest everyday and each one of these nests can probably support a human being on it. The logic behind it is that most of the orang utans weigh as heavy as humans, if not more.

Here's a picture of a female orang utan eating with its young. I think her name's Analissa.

I don't know what's the name of this one but it sure is hairy. (Understatement of the year)

Besides the orang utans, the rehab centre also features many different kinds of wild animals such as crocodiles(oh, Sarawak is filled with them), porcupines, snakes, etc... The owner of the place told us that there are many crocodiles within the park and they are moving about freely minding their own business as long as we don't try to swim in the rivers in the park.

Interestingly, while I was there, I saw someone probably as smart as a bag of rocks sticking his hand and camera into the hole in the door to take a picture of the CROCODILE up close. I saw that he was trying to stuff is hand in and somehow I managed to stopped him in time. He didn't seem to understand Malay so in the end I took the picture for him. If it was one of the STK students, I'm pretty sure he would've been grilled to the bones for that.

And the moment finally came for the big guy to come out and eat. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Ritchie! He's the leader of the group and when the man eats, no other orang utan dare to approach this vicinity. According to the ranger/owner, he has 7 times the strength of a human being and for that reason alone, none of the rangers dare to hold him down to take an accurate measurement of his weight. They say it's roughly 100kg.

To give you an idea about how strong this orang utan is, it took Ritchie only ONE hit against the tree to break it whereas it took the others a couple of hits to get it open. He's badass.

An interesting thing to note is that the bigger the cheek is, it means the better of a leader he is and the stronger he is. That pretty much makes him the alpha male of the rehab centre. Also, he has many partners and lots of 'grandchildren'.

Note that in this list of orang utans in the rehab centre, you can only see the name of the mother because there is no way of determining the father of the child because male orang utans don't practice monogamy and they don't really bother who is their child. Except the female orang utans because they are extremely protective of their child.

Next, we went to a vase factory. (By now, you can probably notice that my comments are getting lesser and lesser because I've been typing for more than 2 HOURS!)

Here is a man 'sculpting' a vase out of clay and he made it look so easy! We got to try but yours sincerely chickened out because he only brought a pair of pants to Sarawak(don't ask) and he didn't want to get it dirty.

Here, we can see a lady carving the different motives on the vase. It was truly a work of art. To me, I'm starting to learn how to appreciate these things by looking at every stroke of the knife and the different pictures that they carve on the clay.

Same lady carving the same vase. She said that it takes her roughly 5-6 hours to finish carving a single vase. Fuh.

I asked her what to do if you some how carved wrongly. She laughed and told me that these clay gets harder as it gets drier. So, to fix an error, she would just put a bit of water to press the clay down flat and then carve again but according to her, chances of making an error is very small. *monocle pops off*

The carved vases would be sent here to dry before painting over the beautiful pictures with paint.

After painting, it would then be baked in these ovens.

Knowing that many of their customers are tourists, they actually have their own packing centre where the vase would be packed into cardboard box filled with newspapers to be checked in to the airplane. They work at an incredible place.

I can't believe my eyes when I saw the amount of vase that my teachers bought! :o Below are the finished products!


After an interesting morning at the rehab centre and vase factory, we went to the wet market to buy the infamous 'ikan terubuk masin'. Apparently, this kind of salted fish can only be found in Sarawak and I had the opportunity to have some with belacan. They taste fantastic!

Interestingly, in the same wet market, there are roughly 10 stalls selling the exact same kind of fish. It was kinda funny for me because the guys with stalls outside would be telling me not to go in because everyone else is selling the same thing and the guys with stalls inside would be inviting me to go deeper into the market because theirs is cheaper, better, bigger, fresher, etc...

I had a fishmonger offering me 3 of those fish for RM10. When I looked at the board it says RM10 for 1. The kind of discount that they give are really awesome and it's a win-win situation for the customers as well considering they get to buy good fish for less money and they would offer to pack them in air tight packages to be brought onto the plane because the fishmongers know that most of the people there are tourists.

Let's talk a bit about the place where I stayed in. It's Hotel Telang Usan, which is supposed to have a 3-star rating but it has the dirtiest bed I've ever sleep in. Just to give you an idea of how dirty and dusty my bed is, I can see holes in the blankets that I use due to being eaten by cockroaches. In rooms that are infested by cockroaches, you can see the curtains have many holes in them, also evidence that it's been eaten by cockroaches.

I know the school/government paid for everything in my trip so, I can't really complain much.

The owner of the hotel is actually an Ulu man, who married a French wife. He brought many of the artifacts from his own place to be placed in the hotel and displayed. Here you can see the hilt of a sword and it's actually carved from IVORY. It's probably illegal to buy something like that now.

Our day ended pretty much like that. Unto the last day! (finally)

Maggie, if you're reading this, please don't cobble me because I genuinely forgot the name of this rice again! According to Maggie, this meal is seasonal because it's actually cooked with a kind of fruit that can only be gotten from November to December. The rice taste a lot like our glutinous rice, actually and smells incredible. Good for me because everyone else in my table didn't like the taste but I love it! :)

After the early lunch, we went to this bird nest centre, where they will clean all the different bird nest by hand by plucking out all the feathers from it.

Sorry for the bad pictures but that's pretty much the 'assembly line' at the centre and everything is plucked and processed there. Including packaging, I believe.

Interestingly, according to Maggie, the different colours of the birds nest means it originated from different birds and locations. For example, if it's yellowish, it means that the bird was fed on fruits and if it's red, then it's due to some sort of rock, where they built their nests.

Here, we have Kak Lin in the centre, flanked by yours sincerely and Maggie. Check out Kak Lin's funky earrings.

Okay, I'll admit it now: I was very tired when I sorted through the pictures. So, naturally, some will looked like this. Just tilt your head a little, will ya? :v

Here, we have our awesome bus driver. He wears a ROLEX!

According to Azhar @ 'Abang Tabung Haji', this is the most hilarious thing he has ever seen in his life. For the first time in his life, he saw a package 'checked in' to the plane with a negative weight. The item that I checked in was a blowpipe that I bought for my uncle. Hehehe...

Well, that's all from me, I guess and I'll say it right here right now that Sarawak is a beautiful place with an identity of its own. Everyone should go there at least once in their life and if you and your family decides to have a trip to Sarawak, let me know! So that I can contact Maggie to have her plan an awesome tour around Kuching. Trust me, you will not be disappointed.

I know I probably sound like a broken advertisement for Sarawak or Kuching but it really is wonderful! For the boys, some of the girls there are very pretty!

Good bye, Kuching! And the end of this trip also pretty much means that's the last time I'm going to be considered as an STK student(I got cheated out of a deal at the end of form 5). I will miss STK because of all the great memories I had and all the lessons I learned.